The Heart's Desire
by TamyG
Summary: Crocodile reflects during his imprisonment at Impel Down. A Prequel to "Until We Meet Again".


**Until We Meet Again - Prequel**

**Revised : 24/09/13**

In the middle of the Calm Belt, and beneath its surface, where Sea Kings dominated, laid the legendary, maximum-security prison, Impel Down. It was famous for being inescapable, which was a fact until it had been broken by the great pirate, Shiki, twenty years ago. Nonetheless, it had retained its reputation once again, for no one had escaped since then. And for that, all pirates pity the ones who got imprisoned there, and would rather die than joining them.

To be exact, almost all pirates. Deep down under the sea, in one of the cells of the mythical sixth level of the Impel Down,_ 'the Eternal Hell'_, sat one of the few who entered there willingly. It was a man who lost all interest in the outer world with the loss of everything he had worked so hard to build over the past years.

Each level had a unique way of torture, however, all would render useless against the notorious pirates who were imprisoned in the sixth level. Here, to the eye of an outsider, it would seem that the prisoners were spared the torture. Unbeknownst to them that the lack of torture was a torture of its own. _Boredom_, that was their torture. And it had proven to be the worst of all as it had driven countless of prisoner to the endless pit of insanity. Needless to say, to this man it wasn't really that bad, though he would do anything for a cigar.

One day, several days after his imprisonment, not exactly sure when since he had lost track of time, heck, he had no idea whether it was day or night out there! None the matter, he had found himself thinking about what had caused his downfall. To be honest, he was not the one to cry over spilled milk, but what else could he do in this rotten cell?At first he had found himself blaming it on the intrusion of the Mugiwara pirates. He then shifted the blame to the failure of Nico Robin. But later, as he thought deeply, he remembered his speech before stabbing her, something about trust and betrayal, and with that he shifted the blame back to the Mugiwara's.

"What does it matter. Everything is gone, and the outer world is worthless again." He sighed in dismay as the urge for a smoke had engulfed his senses.

He placed his right hand over his golden hook, caressing it as if it was a dear pet. Through the years, since he lost his left hand, he had found himself adopting this act every time he needed to calm himself. And with the lack of smoke it was the only thing he could do. Unfortunately, when he finally found himself relaxing, a certain someone invaded his thoughts. A raven-haired beauty with mesmerizing azure eyes; Nico Robin.

At the thought of her, the scarred man growled grimly. He tried to sleep it out, and he succeeded. However, as the days passed by, thoughts of her had conquered him, and sleeping rendered useless; she would conquer him in his waking hours, and in his dreams.

"Guess I'm finally losing it." He scoffed one day, and surrendered to his thoughts.

He had killed countless of times, but never once thought of his victims. Although he admitted that she was the most beautiful and most intelligent of all, and it was a pity sending her to the land of the dead. Several times, in the past, he had found himself intrigued by her aloofness. He wanted to slice up and see what was going on in that well, barracked mind of hers. There were also times where he had wanted to devour her, and monopolize each and every part of her. But that was long gone. She had failed him, he had to kill her and she deserved it. It was as simple as that.

"Dammit…" The scarred man hissed.

If it was really as simple as that, then why was he getting so agitated by his thoughts of her?

He was a calm one. Always had been and always must be, and no thoughts of someone who had failed him should change that.

He desperately caressed his hook, but the act rendered useless, it couldn't sooth him anymore; nothing can. She was haunting him, consuming his thoughts and soul, and he felt so exhausted. He laid down and placed his forearm over his eyes, trying to will all thoughts of her away.

"She is worthless." He tried to convince himself with shut eyes. He then took a deep, long breath and muttered, "…_was_ worthless."

_She is dead… Nico Robin is dead…I killed her...Me…Crocodile._

At that thought, his chest promptly tightened up, his breathing became slow, and he could barely catch a breath. He gasped for air, and clenched his chest tightly. He didn't understand what was happening to him. He had been through many fights, and even though he would hate to admit it, he got few hits during some of them. But never once had he felt this kind of pain. The pain from a bruise or a cut excited him, made him feel alive, but this pain that had no obvious physical wound was just excruciating. It didn't make any sense to him, why was he feeling this overwhelming pain? He laid like that for days, consumed with an inexplicable pain, and an inability to sleep.

Nearly after a long week of sleep deprivation, his body finally surrendered on its own, and slumber took him away.

* * *

_Chuckles_

_"Who's there?" Crocodile demanded as he turned on his heals toward the sound of the mocking, all too familiar, chuckles._

_"Have you already forgotten me?" A low charming voice spoke._

_"Robin?" The pale man questioned with doubt, "But you're dead!"_

_"Really?" Robin chuckled again, "Hmmm…I might be or maybe not. Either ways, I'm just a part of your dream."_

_Crocodile simply remained silent, and stared at the mocking woman. She had that condescending tone that he always hated._

_"What?" She continued to taunt him with a slightly tilted head, "You're far too gone that you can't differentiate between an illusion and a reality?"_

_"Whatever." He replied dismissively, even in his dreams he felt too exhausted to fight her back, "What do you want from me?"_

_"You tell me, it's your dream." The woman shrugged nonchalantly while walking closer to him._

_"Just leave." He retorted then added with a frown, "Cheh… can't have a cigar even in my own damn dream."_

_"Guess you didn't want it as badly." Robin replied as she was now inches away from him. Once close enough, she rose to the tip of her toes, leaned to his ears and whispered, "You know, they say you dream of what you desire the most."_

_Crocodile felt a pang in his chest. He pushed her away forcefully, and looked up at her just to see her fading away, but he managed to catch her beaming smile before she totally disappeared into thin air._

* * *

The pale man abruptly woke up. His cloths were soaking wet with his sweat, his heart was racing, pounding louder with each beat, and his hand was clenching desperately to his chest as he tried to calm himself. Few seconds later, both his breathing and heartbeat were steady again. He shoved the hair strands that were plastered on his forehead, and ran his fingers through his hair.

He let out a low, mocking laugh as he finally realized what he felt these passing days then mumbled, "Guess I never knew your true worth, eh Nico Robin?"

..

_The End_

* * *

**A/N: Don't forget to read the sequel, "Until We Meet Again".**


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